Monday, June 25, 2012

iS yOuR mARRiAge iN tROuBLe?

                                              A Marriage In Trouble




If you are experiencing a life of turmoil, below I will attempt to add a few Healthy Tips to help you begin to turnaround a boat which is trying to go shipwreck with you inside.

     Virtuous Women are the Hardest women to accept and deal with defeat, Even WHEN she's running the Castle why her hubby is away at work, her daily focus is on making and building a better life for her family. She NEVER Listen to the sound of the trumpet, when it goes off, because unrealistically she believes her world is invisible and no one alto dare come near her domain! But if you are Old enough and have experienced many facets of human life, you shall understand no world,person or relationship is soundproof, where the enemy and his army cannot forge a untimely attack!

If  you are under this form of an attack in your marriage in this hour, you must find a place of refuge so that you can retreat while going through this time of battle. And If you are a believer I urge you to study the word of God, Because GOD's Word rules over and far in between man's natural laws!

     Most of the time the battle is NEVER won, from only one side. But it's normally won by both parties learning how to settle their differences!  IF you are a smart woman and I believe you are, you will learn to feel the "Wind in the Air" this means you can sense trouble before the boat goes down. 

   This may come in the form of an attitude, making fun of you and it's never funny,snapping at you for no apparent reason,making excuse to not spend personal time together, not interested in sex, and would rather eat alone than together. These are tell-tell signs, that trouble is about to emerge!  WHY, because each example above means you will have to confront your mate, and this is always the door to a heated discussion.

   WHAT, can you do to avoid some of the most heated argument which sparkles topics such as  separation & divorce. Now before I discuss these remedies, I would like to address I am not a licensed therapist nor do I counsel people at a facility in marriage, but by my experiences with many people who I have helped to remain fruitful in their marriage, this alone makes this topic much easy to share what I've learned.

   NOW, If you are experiencing some or all of the signs above your boat has hit a Large rock! WHAT are you going to do?

   I really hope your answer isn't NOTHING!  Why?  Glad you asked because a marriage is worth the battle when two people really love one another! IT really isn't important how you met, but what is important can the two of you wither this STORM? And trust me sometimes in the marriage you may feel like your in the storm alone, because usually one of the parties will want to give up before the Sunshine come again.

Next, you must make a decision to remain faithful until you get the results you are hoping to see.

   WHY do marriage suffer?   Mainly because their is no such thing as a "Perfect Marriage" it may show perfection along the years, but the facts are "Everyone gets on someone nerves from time to time".  If you are wondering where did you go wrong? Stop, you are in the marriage and it already states things are for "Better and Worst"  it's very funny how many skip over that Word "Worst" and only see "Better".

  Here is a few Tips to Jumpstart your Marriage:

If your mate is starting to become annoying and will not listen to reasoning, this is the sign he has reached his platto BUT it does not mean he has pulled his ship back into the docks! Remember everyday counts, and shall be different with many challenges because "HE's already earned your Trust, and HE knows it! But now he is allowing his ego to get in the way because it comes a time in the marriage when a man must demonstration his Maturity in the Marriage which may sound mean or selfish But he MUST take the led, this means you no longer have power over him because he chose you as his wife. But he must become the Head, and by doing so you must take your new position is to allow him to lead you,and teach you what he already know. Many Women find this hard and fail miserable here because she's not comfortable letting him make all the decisions and this is what tends to sparks many fights along the way!

Start out everyday, by saying I Love You, because the word of God says: "Love shall cover a multitude of Sins" and remember neither party is without fault to the attack!  When you say "I LOVE YOU"  this one statement let's him know you are fully aware what is up for grab and in this kind of attack you must recognize what is the enemy trying to destroy in your marriage.  It's not your friendship alone it's the "LOVE" That made you feel you could not do without this person in your Life!

When he tells you "Stop saying you Love Me"  this is when guilt has sit in. He already knows he's been placing pressure where one can become bothered with it's measurements, and because there is no easy fix when a relationship begin to experience the waves of life, the only thing you will have is your promise by God and your faith he will do what his word says he will do!  WHAT is the Promise?  Gods word say: "Let No man separate, destroy what HE has brought together"  this is a powerful statement and in this statement alone it can tell alot about what or who brought you to your spouse. Also if you are willing to remain faithful unto God he can also deliver you if your marriage wasn't but built on "Love" but instead on"Convenience".  It will be totally on what you pray for your end results to be and what HIS plan is for your life with your spouse.  

If you are ready for the battle you must "Pray for your Husband" because without prayer nothing will change!  So now If  he has said to you stop telling me you love me, then now say to him " I am praying for you"  this really changes things around on him, He will immediately resist it, BUT prayer always allows GOD to get involved and begin to heal problems that will try and plague your marriage! 

If he begins to mention, I want out of this marriage, or maybe this isn't going to work! Find out what is the key element he is having trouble with YOU about! Do not demand for him to excuse you for this shortcoming, but better yet, deal with this new found information, because if you don't it will eventually destroy the marriage. 

Now if you are willing to make the adjustments and demands the other party has asked of you, then it's can be looked upon if the demands are within reasonable measurement a time of growth so move forward because you really don't want to be left behind, really if he's a good man, and he only wants you to do better, believe it or not, Men have alot of "Saying Power" they are Satellites when it comes to human error.  They can easily detect a way to solve a problem without the emotional "mumble jumbo". Women are crazy about everything! We like to make a situation bigger than what it really is, really when we do not agree with the demands! 

     Far too many times women open the door for their spouse to leave, If you know the circumstance can be forgiven, why not just forgive them? But depending on the severity some may be forgiven with restrictions!

Now there are some circumstances such as INFIDELITY which cannot be overlooked and should be examined why did your spouse clearly make a decision to cheat on you! If you are experiencing this Storm, It can be conquered by forgiveness as well, but you have to get the root of this seed so you can force existence of this seed out from among your lives. And you may want to pray,and seek counseling to indicate where is the corporate of this seed which was sent to destroy your marriage. 

  Now what is considered a Corporate?
     A corporate can be a person, place or thing which continues to emerge this seed to grow everytime your spouse or yourself is around, it can be planted by conversation, pictures, or images which are trying to distract your thoughts of a healthy marriage! UNFORTUNATELY, many people around you will not want to see your marriage last, and some will go to great measurements to cloud your judgment about your decision to remain married!

    It's that old saying: Misery Loves Company, But "WISDOM MAKES FOOLISH MEN BECOME BELIEVERS".  You have to build friendships with people who are in the same season your in, because they are your examples in most cases! NOW, you don't have to do what they do totally but you can learn tidbits from them whether good or bad!
    There is a time which is my last point for today, when a marriage can become "STALE" when the marriage becomes "Stale" this means the same old things have run there course and now you and your spouse must begin to adventure out to put certain things back into different areas of your marriage to make it enjoyable and not boring! If you know what he likes most about you and what you like about you it's not hard to make the necessary changes to save a "STALE" marriage.

     As the Women must learn to stay always one step ahead because what you will not be willing to do someone else will show they can!  So from time to time, a women must  learn to reinvent herself, she should change her style, in clothing, hair, and keep your weight portioned to your body frame.  Many men only get bored because you never change your look up for him to feel like he has the best women on the market!

    And if you do not believe me, One of the most complaints a man will mention why he wants to go is this:  "YOU USE TO IN THE BEGINNING LOOK A CERTAIN WAY AND WOULD DRESS A CERTAIN WAY AND BE WILLING TO DO THINGS WITH ME A CERTAIN WAY" And the truth is you did!  This has been a age old truth, women get way to comfortable to fast in a relationship, they are the corporate in their relationships to drive a man away, wearing head scarfs, no make up bare minimum, wearing big panties,  you can spark a man by just changing the fragrance your using from time to time, and using precious soaps and body gels.  Men really enjoy and notice new things a woman do.
A women also must remember, you don't have to be a sexed crazed person in the bedroom, but you must from time to time, excite him by changing the playtime around with different techinques and make all those time about you and him, turn off the cellphone, and TV.  He will appreciate you more becaue you are willing to let him have this part of you for himself.

    LAST, but not least keep the intimacy going by conversation! Send a I love you text from time to time, Even when you don't feel it, because sometimes we look for excitement to be always presence when infact you have to know how to regain it's strength in a relationship!  Make spontaneous plans for him to enjoy and READ how the Proverbs 31 Women in the Bible made her Husband happy!

   This blog today was to attempt to encourage other's who are going through a transformation that each marriage discovers in different ways to grow and nourish the marriage. Even though it's contents are not always pleasurable but it's intent is to strength the foundation in which you both laid when you entered into the "Marriage".

 This too you shall overcome!  If you enjoyed this message leave me a comment, I want to know what my reader's like and the topics they enjoy!  I enjoy sharing ideals and topics, that will help the rebuilding of a Women's Faith!

     NEVER PANIC so fast, Your boat may not be shipwrecked it may just need to be taken out to the shore more often! Have a Wonderful Monday.......

By: Sisterhoods Bookclub
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